where marriage was regarded as something important and was taken seriously. These days I'm not so sure. Where the mold was the happy, monogamous, married couple some amount of years ago, a new mold has taken its place: The couple with various partners and children by different fathers. What's sad is that this is socially acceptable today; so much so that I have to constantly fight off people who expect my marriage to fail just because it either didn't work for them, I'm "too young", or whatever other reasons they want to throw out there. Frankly, I'm sick of it.Yes, I understand the divorce rate for someone my age (and in general) is not working in my favor, but I don't like to think of our relationship as a statistic. If I did that, I'd think my marriage to failure. I know I made the right decision, and when I stood up there and said my vows over a year ago, I took every one of them seriously, and so did he. We're two people who don't believe divorce will solve problems. Now, I can understand desperate situations for people whose only route is divorce, and it's only as a means to get away from an abusive husband/wife or an extremely destructive husband/wife. I'm not attacking people who have gotten divorced. I'm just saying that's not for me.
If I'm not going to stand here and lecture you about getting a divorce and how wrong it is, can you do me the same respect and not lecture me about how horrible it was for me to get married to begin with? I've watched so many situations with these same people who think they can guarantee my marriage will fail. I've watched them as they do things to perpetuate the problem. I scratch my head in disbelief. Why do you prove over and over again that we have different takes on relationships and monogamy in general but act like we're on the same level?
I watch as these people cheat on their boyfriends/girlfriends, fianceés, or husbands/wives. How can you do that and even begin to dictate how my marriage will fail? Apparently, you don't know me at all. I don't need to cheat on my husband to be happy. I married him because this is the person I want to stick by for the rest of my life. It wasn't so I would have someone to come home to after having escapades with other men behind his back. What kind of sick world do we live in where people can't be faithful to each other?
Another thing that bothers me are people that just jump into marriage at the drop of a hat. Granted, Jon and I had only dated 9 months before we got engaged, but it wasn't too rushed because we spent nearly everyday together. Some people get engaged sooner than that, but I have to question the people that get engaged to someone within a couple weeks or less of dating them and knowing them. How could you possibly know this is a person you want to spend forever with? I didn't have all the information I needed to make that kind of decision about Jon within a week or two of knowing him. I'd just barely known his last name and favorite color by that point. I guess I have no place to judge, but I just don't understand.
My wish would be for everyone to take marriage and relationships as seriously as I do or as seriously as they're intended to be taken. We've gotten so off-course over the years, and it's just getting worse and worse by the minute. I can't stand to watch people I know making the problem in society worse. Where I used to just see celebrities or people from afar committing these acts, I'm now in close contingency with these people, and it saddens me.
I don't need marital advice from individuals who aren't on the right track with their own relationships. Spare me.
