Husbands Are Good For...

...making you feel better when you're insanely stressed out. Well, mine is, at least. It's been a really stressful week with the whole job situation. As I said in my last blog, I told my supervisor I didn't think it was going to work out for me there. I was beginning to get stir crazy and claustrophobic. I was hoping Friday would be my last day, but unfortunately, they hadn't quite found my replacement yet, and the temp agency is still actively looking for another job for me. Hopefully, I can be out of there by Friday. I don't think I can manage another week in "the cell."
Meanwhile, I've been doing a slight bit of searching on my own. I'm hoping one of these things will bite so I can get out of here. The dungeon-like environment there is driving me crazy. Maybe some people can stand it, but I'm not one of them.

Despite all this it makes me feel good to know I can come home from all that to someone like my husband. He's been more than supportive through this whole thing. Where everyone else would probably think I were beyond strange about this job, he doesn't see me that way. He's been there to give me hugs and kisses, cuddle with me, and listen to me vent and cry things out. He had it pretty rough last week too, but he still took care of me to make sure I felt better (I owe you, sweetie).

We're starting to hit one of the points stated in the marriage vows: "For richer or poorer"/"for better or worse." They've really been going hand-in-hand for us lately. We may not make an incredible amount of money, but we make sure we're each taken care of, and if everything else around us just fell apart, we'd be okay with that on some level. I think going through this situation with the future of my job and money issues has made us realize (truly) that we'd do anything for each other, and that's all that really matters to us. Yeah, having little money and being in a job that makes me less than happy sucks, but knowing I can come home to him every night makes each day a little easier to get through.
Now, I can picture him accusing me of trying to top him on his blog from the other day, but it's not about that. Maybe going through tough times makes everything that I feel about him clearer and more real. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about how lucky I am to have him as a husband, but sometimes it feels like I don't give him enough credit for all he does for me. He watches out for me and makes sure I'm happy, and that's his priority. I try to do the same for him, as well.

That's what marriage is all about. It's becoming so true to me.

It's A Shame

Sorry I haven't really updated my blog in recent weeks. Some of it can be attributed to my stress. What I thought was just "new job jitters," I was starting to figure out was something different. I couldn't really pin-point it for a couple weeks, and I finally did come up with a conclusive answer: It's something with the job itself.

I was so happy to get this job, but there was one thing that was bothering me that I couldn't figure out. The people there are so awesome and very friendly; the work is simple (everyday it gets easier); the pay is excellent. So what is it that has been getting me down more and more with each passing day? The atmosphere.

Let me explain: I work in a small office with two other people. The room is painted in a dark green color, there are no windows, and I'm surrounded by four walls, a ceiling and floor of cement. There's not much room to move around; especially if all three of us are in there simultaneously. I have a slight claustrophobia problem. It actually probably wouldn't even count as such because it's not to the point of being categorized as a phobia, but enclosed spaces cause an overall discomfort with me.
What ticks me off so much about this is because it's such a seemingly small physical issue, but it's been a huge mental block for me. Every night and weekend since I've been there has been incredibly stressful. I have this feeling of dread every morning before I go into work because I feel like I'm walking into a dungeon. Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion, but that's how it feels to me. Every night I think about it; some I cry through.
If you think about it, I went from being in a big, open building with skylights and/or windows to an enclosed space in a dim room. I was able to move around and now I can't so much. A cubicle wouldn't feel as tight to me, actually.

Yesterday I had to make the hardest decision and talk to my supervisor about it and explain to him that I didn't think it was going to work out for me because of the way I felt. Luckily, he was very understanding and supportive of it. Now they're actively looking for someone to replace me. I've talked to my temp agency about it, as well. I'll be staying there until they find me another job/get a replacement. A small feeling of relief is coming into play, but I also feel really guilty about this decision. I truly wanted this to work out. Everything else was so perfect for me...except for this one thing.

Now I'm just waiting to get another opportunity. Hopefully, it will be in an Erie-Insurance-like environment. That's essentially what I would want. I even reapplied at the aforementioned company yesterday. I haven't applied there since I was about 19 because I gave up on trying to get in. Now I want to make a serious effort to get hired there. That's always been my true goal since I graduated high school. Sad but true.

Just pray I finally find something I'm completely happy with.

My First Meme (2)

Just finishing up the meme from my last post:

Four Favorite Foods:

• Tacos:

I really should have been born Mexican or Hispanic (no Asian references or jokes, ron) because I eat these so much. It's a wonder my husband hasn't gotten sick of them yet. I'm constantly fixing them in our house or buying them at the nearest Taco Bell. I've always been able to eat these nonstop. It was one of the few things I would get incredibly excited over if my mom said she was making them: "I'll be eating at home tonight."

• Reuben casserole:

This is another food my mom used to make that has carried to my household. Even though Jon doesn't eat it, I'll occasionally fix a whole batch for myself. I don't know what it is that makes this so good. Maybe it's the whole mixture of my favorite ingredients: noodles, swiss cheese, corned beef, and sauerkraut. Maybe it's just because it's so frickin' easy to make. You may gag at the sight or smell, but I salivate...

• Green bean casserole:

Since we're on the topic of casseroles, I thought I'd throw this one in here, as well. It's a popular item at holidays (at least in my family), so I try to make it whenever I can. This is another dish my husband won't eat, but I could daily. Mmmm...mushroom soup; mmmm...french fried onions. Deadly combination for my breath though.

• Pizza:

It's an American classic. What more is there to say?

Four Websites I Visit Everyday:

• MySpace:

You all know where to find me.

• Facebook:

I'm one of the newer users to this site, but if you have a page, and you want to add me, I'm here.

• WWdN: In Exile:

It would make sense that I visit this site a lot. I'm a big Wil Wheaton fan. I like to keep tabs on what he's up to. That reminds me: Methinks I need to get a hold of his new book when it comes out...

• TMZ:

Rather than wasting my money buying magazines at a store, I just get all my celebrity news and more at this spot. It's not really the most reliable source, but when it comes to stars, who is? I don't even know why I even care about these people and if they had an Oscar Meyer's or Hebrew National hot dog for lunch. At least I'm not a train wreck like Chris Crocker. We can all thank God for that one.

Four Places I Would Love To Be:

• Gatlinburg, Tennessee:

I fell in love with this place ever since we went on our honeymoon here a year and a half ago. Thankfully, we got to go back for our first anniversary. We stayed in the chalets on the mountains. I wish we could make it a yearly thing, but it's too pricey to do. There's so much to do down there. We wasted a lot of our time at the arcade last year, but we made sure we got around more this year. We explored the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, and it was absolutely beautiful. If taxes weren't so high there (10%) and we could move there, I would love to.

• Lexington, Kentucky:

Yes, another southern state. My twin sister lives down there, and I miss her quite a bit. If I'm lucky, I see her a couple times a year (a day a piece).

• Best Buy:

What can I say? I live in that store...as long as I can buy something.

• My husband's arms:

Go ahead: Insert your ooh's and awww's right here. He's not here at the moment, and I miss him a lot.

Four Favorite Colors:

• Blue


• Black


• Green


• Aqua:

I'm saying this one in hopes it doesn't qualify as "blue".

Four Names I Love But Would/Could Not Use For My Children:
My husband is going to laugh when he reads these. You can guess what association they have just by their sex. I don't necessarily love them anyway. Any names I do love I'd probably end up using as names for my kids, so that part of the meme is moot.

• Matt


• Adam


• Justin


• Paul

My four picks for tags are as follows: Tam, ron, MJ, and Speedcat. Remember: This meme includes the questions from my last blog.

My First Meme (1)

I've been tagged for a few of these in the past, but I've never actually blogged one. I guess you could call it laziness, and I would have to agree with you. So...for the sake of blogging something and getting a roll going, I'll start it off.

Now, I was never tagged for this particular meme, but I've seen this one around quite a bit, so I figured I'd try it out. It's the easiest one I've seen around lately. All you have to do is give four answers for each question. I'm going to divide this up into two blogs since this is a lengthy one, and you know how long-winded I can be. Here it goes:

Four Jobs I've Had:

• Ice Cream Server:

Oh, I didn't have the pleasure of being one of those hot Baskin-Robbins chicks. I certainly didn't have the looks or attitude for that. No; instead I found myself working at a little ice cream shoppe in Harborcreek called Dickie's Elite Treats. That's not something you admit to someone. I really only worked there (collectively) two-weeks' worth (at about 4 hours a day) for two months of the summer. I had to constantly call them, begging to work.
Long after I left, the owner changed it to Tropical Treats. Why, oh, why couldn't it be called that when I was there? I was doomed to put the latter on applications and resumés for years to come.

• Food Service at Brevillier Village:

This was yet another short-lived job. I was hired to work second shift, serving food to elderly folks, busing the tables, doing dishes, etc. Yes, this is a nursing home. No, I didn't leave because of the "senile citizens". In fact, I left because I was working first shift instead of second. At the time, I didn't have a car or a license, so transportation was a pain. As I said earlier, I was hired for second shift, so I asked my supervisor if I could switch to second, and she gave me resignation forms to fill out. I wasn't about to put in two-weeks' notice. I'd only been there a week anyway. Screw that. To this day, there's one woman I worked with that still recognizes me whenever she sees me around. I find that impressive since I only worked a few days.

• Assistant Manager at Dollar General:

Most of you that have stuck with my numerous blogs over the past three years know of my grueling days at Dollar General. Retail in itself is hell, but this place was ridiculous. Being assistant manager basically meant that I put up with all the crap from upper management and play store manager at times. In that place, it was more profitable to be a little man. Oddly enough, you didn't get "crapped on" as much on the lower rung...

• Sales Associate in Baby Depot:

Now, it wouldn't be fair if I said this job sucked because it really wasn't that bad. What was bad, however, was the--echem--management (insert a fit of coughing here). Hey, once I got the hang of the whole department, everything else came pretty easily. I'd worked with customers before at Dollar General, so I was used to this. Selling furniture was new where carrying heavy things (in this case, it was the furniture) and dealing with moody customers were not. Pretty standard stuff; just couldn't take retail and frickin' store management anymore. I do miss some of the people though...

Four Films I Could Watch Over and Over:

• A Christmas Story:

No contest. This is hands-down the best movie on my list. I've watched it about 20 times every year I've been able to operate a VCR or DVD player. Of course, now my parents loathe the movie thanks to me.

• Scream:

This movie never scared me because it was so cliché anyway, but I thoroughly enjoy it. In fact, I watched it so much when it first came out, my father ripped the tape out of the video and broke my CD soundtrack out of concern. Hey, whatever. I was a strange kid. I don't watch it nearly as much anymore. Maybe once or twice a year. I guess his method worked...or I just grew up.

• Office Space:

Even though this is my first time ever working in an office (minus the cubicle), I still can relate to this movie. I think it really epitomizes business as a whole. Everyone can associate with it. It's hilarious. I thank my husband for introducing me to this masterpiece. "Michael Bolton? Any relation to the singer?"

• The Breakfast Club:

I love the tongue-in-cheek humor that this movie has. I've loved this movie for a decade and a half. I couldn't count how many times I've seen it. This is one of the few movies that I can quote from beginning to end. By the way, I was the basketcase in school; that is, if you were wondering...

Four Places I Have Lived:
I can really only do three here (and they're all in Erie)

• Wesleyville (Erie), PA:

Ah, this is where I grew up and lived for the first 20 years of my life. I know this area like the back of my hand. It's a small borough where everyone knows everyone else's business. I sort of miss the constant buzz sometimes.

• Erie (the city), PA:

I got my first apartment the beginning of 2005 in a nice, residential area. It's one of the few areas in the city that isn't infested with drugs and violence. This is when I got my first cat (joint cat, actually), also. It was a nice addition to the new living space. Plus, I got to spend more time with the hubby (or fiancé at the time), which is never a bad thing.

• Millcreek, PA:

This is my first house with my husband. It's technically not ours since it's a "loaner" from his aunt while she's in another state for a few years working. It got us out of the apartment, and we don't have to pay rent! I guess it's not all bad.

Four Favorite TV Shows:

• Once and Again:

My parents got me hooked on this one, and the fact that Shane West was on it didn't hurt either. It's from the creators of thirtysomething, and it has that same kind of feel. It's a shame they canceled it after only three seasons. I'm anxiously awaiting the last season to come out on DVD.

• Party of Five:

Being a huge fan of Neve Campbell as a tween, I watched a lot of this show. It was the cornerstone of my Wednesday nights for a few years. I taped every episode I could possibly get. I even set the timer to record when they would show reruns on Lifetime during school. I could quote almost every line from several episodes. I didn't have much of a life during that time. Of course, that hasn't changed much today.

• The Maury Povich Show:

As much as I hate half the content that's on there, I still would watch this nearly every morning. It's tapered off a lot lately, and much of that is due to the fact that I'm now working a regular, Monday-through-Friday schedule. My husband would be wondering if I didn't include this anyway.

• King of Queens:

This is yet another show my parents got me hooked on. I love Kevin James' humor. He's one of my all-time favorite comedians. He and Leah Remini complimented each other well on this show. I have four of the seasons on DVD, and I've yet to finish them out completely.

The tagging will come with the next blog.

No, I Didn't Die

I know you're all thinking the same thing: "She started this new job and dropped off the face of the earth completely." I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's really all I can say, so I apologize if anyone was getting frustrated with my absence. It wasn't intentional. Thanks to those of you that cared enough to keep checking on me when I didn't answer: *cough*ron*cough*. Working nearly 10 hours a day at a new type of job when you've never done it before can be a little tiring and stressful.

Despite the long schedule, the job actually isn't all that bad. You're literally sitting at the computer for 95% of the day. Yeah, I guess that's what I should expect out of an office job. It's just slightly different because it's at a shop. It's not like working at Erie Insurance in a little cubicle, and you're able to hear a pin drop. Where else can you work in an office and still manage to get grease on your favorite $50 pair of American Eagle jeans?

The job itself is pretty standard stuff, but it was just a pain in the butt to try to learn. I don't envy my coworker for having to train me because I wouldn't want to. She's been there 11 years, so she knows what she's doing, but sometimes it just makes it that much harder to try to explain it to someone else. Plus, I just learn better if I can do it myself a few times rather than watching someone. I don't remember anything that way.

I feel a little pressure with this because I have to learn this job in four weeks (well, three weeks now). The woman training me is going in for surgery next month, and I have to learn her job. I can't say I feel too comfortable with it since I had no clue that's what was going on until my second day. I guess I just need to take it in stride because otherwise I'm going to go insane.
I'm just glad the week is over with, and Saturday is here. I'm even happier that thinking about the weekend doesn't bring up images of buses containing loads of Canadians anymore. That's a relief...

Also, I had to take my car to Midas because on Thursday night, I started hearing a clunking noise underneath my car whenever I would start it up, switch gears, or hit bumps. I asked them to take a look at it and give me a call back. They just called and told me that my heat shield is loose. They would screw it back in, but there are more problems, so they don't even want to touch it. Apparently, my exhaust pipe muffler has pin holes in it and is splitting or something, as well. They told me they don't have the parts to fix it today, but I should be fine to drive it because it's nothing serious. Personally, I don't even want to drive it because it sounds like the bottom of my car is going to break off. I just wish I could get it fixed and out of the way.
I just want to cry...

You Live In Erie When...

You know winter is right around the corner when you start playing Christmas movies in September. Come on, Erie, warm up!

Now I Can Relax

Tam, ron, and whomever else may have been secretly complaining about my excessive complaining should be happy to know that this blog will be of a more thankful nature.

As I'm sure you all know, I'm done at Burlington, which has been a huge relief, and a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I've never enjoyed retail, and I really don't know of many people that do. I just worked in it because that's what I was stuck with. It was hard for me to get in another field because every place wanted experience of some kind. I got lucky that the company that hired me was willing to take a chance and hire someone with no office experience. I promise to not disappoint. This is the field I've been laboring to get into since I graduated high school.

My last day at my now old job was yesterday (Friday). I got more from people than I ever dreamed I would. I guess I had more friends than I realized, which feels good. My coworker, Roni, baked me a cake and used sour Airheads' strips to write, "Good Luck!" She also got me a card and got just about everyone that was working on Friday to sign it, so I have quite an extensive collection of I'll-miss-yous and good-lucks that I can look back on years from now and smile over. It was a bittersweet day because as much as I wanted to get out of that place, I didn't want to leave the people behind. I think a couple people (namely Olga and Roni) were hit a little harder than everyone else. It will be strange to not work with them anymore, but I think once I get settled into this new job, I'll feel right at home.

I made sure I made the rounds to shake hands with the majority of the managers and thank them/tell them it was a pleasure working with them. I did that with everyone except one: the store manager. I wanted to do a little slap to the face on her by completely ignoring her. Believe me: It was quite blatant too. I was shaking hands and hugging people right in front of her, and I didn't look at nor speak to her. I wasn't going to give her the time of day, and I certainly wasn't going to pretend as if it was a walk in the park working for her. She made everyday a living hell for me, and I wasn't going to give her any satisfaction. Now, it probably didn't bother her one bit that I ignored her, but I thought I'd do it anyway--for my own enjoyment. If I never see her again in my life, it'll be too soon.

Now I can go on with my life, meet new people, and learn a new job. I'm excited to start here and actually have a "normal" schedule. This will be the first time in my entire work history that I'll be working Monday through Friday, first shift, with weekends off. I can't tell you how good that feels. Ever since I've been married, I've been wanting to spend more time with my husband, and I could never do that working in retail because my shifts were all over the place, and I was working weekends constantly (not to mention holidays). Now I'll get to spend every evening and weekend with him. It hasn't quite clicked yet, but I'm sure it will in a week or two.
This puts the feelings of complacency and accomplishment in me: Two things I've rarely felt in my life.