Fifty Shades of TMI

It was recently that I was first introduced to a book called, "Fifty Shades of Grey". Did I read it? Absolutely not, so don't expect a legitimate book review. What was described to me is "porn for women". Desperate housewives everywhere were flocking to pick up a copy of this new, erotic book. I guess it was a step up from their bookshelves full of novels adorned with a half-nude Fabio sweeping a woman off her feet and a new background on each cover. Having read a few of the narratives on the backs of these books for kicks and giggles, I've determined they're all the same story with different settings. Prove me wrong.

Based on reviews from different sources, you can either believe this is the best thing to come into a sex-starved woman's life or it can make for good kindling on a cold night. Being that this is not my cup of tea, I'm not planning on reading it just to be able to give an unbiased opinion or to even give it an honest try. I'm sure its biggest fans are also serial viewers of "Days of Our Lives", which I have about as much interest in as I do poking my eyes out with a pitchfork.

According to the synopsis, the story follows a naïve woman named Ana Steele and a glorified gigolo named Christian Grey. In a nutshell: Ana interviews Christian for a job with the college paper; they're attracted to each other; Christian propositions her for sex; Christian makes her sign a contract barring any discussion about what they do together--as well as one to submit herself to his freakish fetish of BDSM and his bizarre rules along with that; sex, sex, more sex and insanity ensue. I think there's a partridge in a pear tree in there somewhere too. If not, it's probably Ron Jeremy in a pear tree.

I'm all for women buying a feel-good book if that's what floats their boats, but the whole plot to the story just seems like something out of a sadomasochist's fantasy [There's also nothing wrong with that if you're into it], which poses the question: Are there really tons of women out there that are into getting beat by a man for sexual pleasure? It's evidently more popular than I once thought or this trilogy wouldn't be on the best sellers list. Conclusion: Beating women is wrong...except when it's not.

I'm sure I'll catch a lot of flack for this post, but I'm prepared. How many of you have actually read this? Maybe many of you have, but it sits in your lockbox where your husband won't find it. I won't tell...