Christmas: That's When the Crazies Come Out

It's been a quite a while, I know, but at least my last blog was called "Blogger's Block," so my absence demands your immediate forgiveness. As for my leg/hip issue I had, it has thankfully passed. It did last for a couple days, but after the first day it wasn't quite as bad, and that's a good thing. I probably would have taken some Valium and called it a week.

On a much lighter note, however, the job that I've been temping at offered me a permanent position, which upped my pay a dollar more an hour. I was really excited and honored by it. I'm not sure what to do with myself because I've never been at a job that I've actually enjoyed. I'm so used to starting a job and immediately wondering how I'll get myself out of the mess. What's it like to be happy at a job? Now I know, and it's kind of awkward, but in a very good way. The people there are just awesome, and the whole environment is great. I think I finally found my spot.

Today we had our Christmas party at Marketplace Grille, and that was a lot of fun. I really got the chance to know some people there a little better and give them a feel for me, as well. They have the same, sarcastic sense of humor that I possess, so it's nice to be in good and familiar company.
They played a game where everyone (well, aside from me, at least, because I found out too late) brought a re-gift item (something random that you find at home or just ridiculous) that was wrapped, and each person had a slip with their name and another with their date of birth. They were appropriately picked out of a Santa hat, and when your name or birth date was called, you went to the table and took a present. Once all were picked out, any names/birth dates called after that were allowed to steal a present from someone else. I had the one I picked out stolen, which warranted a comment from a coworker: "Welcome to LCBA!" The Christian way is to advocate stealing...ah, I see...so I stole someone's when it was my turn. Amen!
I actually really like the gift I "stole". It's the green M&M dressed in sultry, Mrs. Claus gear holding a bag that says, "I ♥ Christmas Shopping." That one is a keeper! I'm looking forward to next year. I'll think of something completely random...

In other, unrelated news, I was getting random spam e-mails sent to my phone one particular day. It's never happened to me before, and it hasn't happened since, but my husband got the same thing on the same day. He has Verizon, and I have Cellular One (or should I say AT&T?). I got one at 2:43am and another at 7:26am on Tuesday morning (?), I believe, and they both had something to do with Vicodin or whatever random product they assume I was looking for [Yes! We have Vicodin! Oh! Tell someone who gives a damn!]. Did any of you get these messages? I was ready to complain to someone about Hector1@safe-mail.net. What the Hec...tor?!?

Anyway, now that Christmas is almost here, I'm going to have a hell of a time trying to buy presents this week. If my husband would just tell me something he wants, I could get it done [Come on, sweetie!]. As it stands now, I'm completely clueless. Argh...I don't want to shop with the crazies. Hell, I had to wait on them the past--oh, I don't know--three Christmases. That was enough retail exposure for me.
I guess online shopping would really be the option...don't say it's too late!

Is It November Yet?

Ok, so I'm wanting October to end like a plague of locusts, but I am trying to be better about it. I played along with the Halloween-themed wedding on Saturday, I spent a couple hours carving my pumpkin the following day, and I'll be passing out candy tomorrow night. All in all, I'd say I've been doing pretty well.

As I said, I went to a wedding this weekend for my husband's cousin. It was at the Masonic Temple, and I wasn't sure what to expect. It actually wasn't half bad. I'd never been to anything but a traditional wedding, so I wasn't sure if I'd like it or not. I was pleasantly surprised though, and everything was put together so well. All the decorations were really cool, and they even had a guy doing caricatures [I tried to scan ours, but I'm having "technical difficulties," so I'll get back to you on that one.]. I was really impressed by the whole thing, actually. I wish I'd remembered to bring our camera, but I think I'll just swipe some pictures off my father-in-law.

On Sunday we had a whole pumpkin carving get-together at my in-laws' house. As promised I took pictures of mine. I didn't do Arnold Schwarzenegger as planned because the pattern ended up printing way too small to even be feasible, so I picked something on the fly, just before we headed over there: Homer Simpson.
I wasn't sure how I was going to pull this one off, but I thought I'd give it a whirl. I tried "tracing" it by poking holes around key points of the pattern, but that proved to be useless, so I ended up hand-drawing it onto the pumpkin using a black, Crayola marker (all our pumpkin markers had run out of ink). The end result was better than I expected for a first try, but nothing fantastic. You can check it out here (the fugly, raw, not-in-the-dark version) and here (the best-when-viewed-in-pitch-black version).

Finally, you're all either wondering how this new job is going or hoping I don't make any mention of my job situation. For those of you who fit in the former category, you're getting an update; if you're the latter, you might want to skip this part. Everything has been going really well for me over at this new place. The guy who hired me just started his new job at another company on Monday, but before he left on Friday, he asked for my number so he could call me to offer me a job. He said he was impressed with my work, and he'd like to work with me again in the future. I'm thinking that's definitely a good thing; however, I'm going to try to ask someone this week if there would be any chance of me getting hired there permanently (I'm only two-month temporary help at the moment). I think I have a good shot at getting a position.

Only time will tell.

October, October

I'm happy to report that I got hired somewhere on Thursday. I only interviewed at one location because the other place decided to hold off on the position. I'm glad I was able to nail this one though; however, I'm a little disappointed it's only a two-month temporary position. It has the possibility of turning permanent, but there's no guarantee. I get paid the same as my last job; only I work about 41 hours rather than 45-47. I start tomorrow morning, so I'm nervous but excited about it. I'm just ready to settle down in a place, and I think this might be it for me (God-willing it turns into a permanent position). I'm really impressed with the staff and the overall atmosphere. I'm hoping it goes well.

Now, to get onto another subject rather than boring all of you with my endless job hunt: I think I'd like to make it tradition to complain about Halloween and the entire month of October every year. It seems like I've done that successfully for three years, so why stop now?
Even when I was a kid, I didn't like Halloween. I stopped going trick-or-treating after I was about 8 or 9, and I rarely dressed up for it besides an occasional middle school dance. Now, I've got to get back into it again for the sake of a wedding, and I haven't a clue what to wear.

My husband's cousin is getting married this coming Saturday, and--of course--it's a Halloween wedding. Costumes are encouraged but not required; however, we'd be the oddballs out if we came dressed "normally". It's less than a week away, and my husband and I still haven't picked anything out. We've been beating around the bush with the whole thing, and it hasn't gotten us anywhere. Beyond going as Torgo and "The Master" or one of his brides¹ (but I'm not too much into wearing a sheet), we don't have any feasible costumes. At this point, ideas are welcomed; although I think we're going to have to settle on something today since it will pretty much be our last chance to go shopping.

Next Sunday we're going to carve pumpkins at his parents' house. Last year I made mine say, "Yo," but I want to put forth a little more effort into this year's and try something new. I was looking for patterns online, and I stumbled on one that I'm determined to accomplish for my husband: Arnold Schwarzenegger. I got the idea when I saw a story on TMZ about carving a pumpkin in the resemblance of Britney Spears, and I thought that was a great idea.
I haven't the faintest idea how I'm going to accomplish this. Regardless of how it does turn out (I'm not expecting anything great), I'll be sure to post a picture. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for success.

¹All from the horrible, cult classic Manos: The Hands of Fate

Here We Go

I promise to cut down the number of "job blogs" I have on here and write more up-beat posts...after this one. I have two job interviews today: One at 11:00 and another at 1:00. One of these should land me a job by Monday, I would assume. It would be nice to break the unemployment I'm in right now so I don't feel like a slacker.

My Plight

Wow, a lot has been on my mind the past week. Ok, who am I kidding? A lot has been on my mind the past month. I stayed home from work today because I was feeling ridiculously sick to my stomach and didn't sleep more than a couple hours all night because of it. I think it's mostly because of this job, but I didn't want to risk being stuck in the bathroom with my head in a toilet for the majority of my day, so I opted to call in sick.

The temp agency found my replacement last week, and she started on Thursday. Meanwhile, they want me to stay and work until Wednesday...or at least, that's what they said last week. I talked to the agency today and tried to verify that they wanted me to stay until Wednesday. The girl told me that I could work through Wednesday or finish off the week. It was up to me, but either way, I had to let her know what I was doing. Well, I don't want to stay there because each day I'm there I feel a little more stir crazy and claustrophobic. I mean, I was hoping Friday would have been my absolute last day, but it wasn't.

At the same time, she may have a job lined up for me. Actually, it was a job that was offered to me a month and a half or two months ago but I just missed out on getting. I'm guessing it didn't work out for whoever they had hired there, and it swung my direction again. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but I do know that it's located at a place where I know three of its employees. She had offered me another job as a counter clerk somewhere, but it would require the same bull that I hated about retail, so I declined. That prompted her to ask if it was because I wanted to get away from customer service and would rather just have a "punching letters and numbers in a computer" kind of job...in an open, bright environment. That's exactly it.

However, here's my dilemma: I'm not sure whether to work until Wednesday and give myself a couple days off or finish the week out. A huge part of me is just anxious to get out of there. It's been two weeks since I gave them my notice (if you will), and I'm going crazy in that building. Another small part of me is saying I should just suck it up and work the remainder of the week because we need the money. I'm really torn. Anyone with an educated opinion on this matter would be helpful.

Husbands Are Good For...

...making you feel better when you're insanely stressed out. Well, mine is, at least. It's been a really stressful week with the whole job situation. As I said in my last blog, I told my supervisor I didn't think it was going to work out for me there. I was beginning to get stir crazy and claustrophobic. I was hoping Friday would be my last day, but unfortunately, they hadn't quite found my replacement yet, and the temp agency is still actively looking for another job for me. Hopefully, I can be out of there by Friday. I don't think I can manage another week in "the cell."
Meanwhile, I've been doing a slight bit of searching on my own. I'm hoping one of these things will bite so I can get out of here. The dungeon-like environment there is driving me crazy. Maybe some people can stand it, but I'm not one of them.

Despite all this it makes me feel good to know I can come home from all that to someone like my husband. He's been more than supportive through this whole thing. Where everyone else would probably think I were beyond strange about this job, he doesn't see me that way. He's been there to give me hugs and kisses, cuddle with me, and listen to me vent and cry things out. He had it pretty rough last week too, but he still took care of me to make sure I felt better (I owe you, sweetie).

We're starting to hit one of the points stated in the marriage vows: "For richer or poorer"/"for better or worse." They've really been going hand-in-hand for us lately. We may not make an incredible amount of money, but we make sure we're each taken care of, and if everything else around us just fell apart, we'd be okay with that on some level. I think going through this situation with the future of my job and money issues has made us realize (truly) that we'd do anything for each other, and that's all that really matters to us. Yeah, having little money and being in a job that makes me less than happy sucks, but knowing I can come home to him every night makes each day a little easier to get through.
Now, I can picture him accusing me of trying to top him on his blog from the other day, but it's not about that. Maybe going through tough times makes everything that I feel about him clearer and more real. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about how lucky I am to have him as a husband, but sometimes it feels like I don't give him enough credit for all he does for me. He watches out for me and makes sure I'm happy, and that's his priority. I try to do the same for him, as well.

That's what marriage is all about. It's becoming so true to me.

It's A Shame

Sorry I haven't really updated my blog in recent weeks. Some of it can be attributed to my stress. What I thought was just "new job jitters," I was starting to figure out was something different. I couldn't really pin-point it for a couple weeks, and I finally did come up with a conclusive answer: It's something with the job itself.

I was so happy to get this job, but there was one thing that was bothering me that I couldn't figure out. The people there are so awesome and very friendly; the work is simple (everyday it gets easier); the pay is excellent. So what is it that has been getting me down more and more with each passing day? The atmosphere.

Let me explain: I work in a small office with two other people. The room is painted in a dark green color, there are no windows, and I'm surrounded by four walls, a ceiling and floor of cement. There's not much room to move around; especially if all three of us are in there simultaneously. I have a slight claustrophobia problem. It actually probably wouldn't even count as such because it's not to the point of being categorized as a phobia, but enclosed spaces cause an overall discomfort with me.
What ticks me off so much about this is because it's such a seemingly small physical issue, but it's been a huge mental block for me. Every night and weekend since I've been there has been incredibly stressful. I have this feeling of dread every morning before I go into work because I feel like I'm walking into a dungeon. Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion, but that's how it feels to me. Every night I think about it; some I cry through.
If you think about it, I went from being in a big, open building with skylights and/or windows to an enclosed space in a dim room. I was able to move around and now I can't so much. A cubicle wouldn't feel as tight to me, actually.

Yesterday I had to make the hardest decision and talk to my supervisor about it and explain to him that I didn't think it was going to work out for me because of the way I felt. Luckily, he was very understanding and supportive of it. Now they're actively looking for someone to replace me. I've talked to my temp agency about it, as well. I'll be staying there until they find me another job/get a replacement. A small feeling of relief is coming into play, but I also feel really guilty about this decision. I truly wanted this to work out. Everything else was so perfect for me...except for this one thing.

Now I'm just waiting to get another opportunity. Hopefully, it will be in an Erie-Insurance-like environment. That's essentially what I would want. I even reapplied at the aforementioned company yesterday. I haven't applied there since I was about 19 because I gave up on trying to get in. Now I want to make a serious effort to get hired there. That's always been my true goal since I graduated high school. Sad but true.

Just pray I finally find something I'm completely happy with.

A Little Contemplation

I have to say it's been a little rough the past week with all the job hunting I've been doing. I just called both temp agencies this morning for an update, and it seems I've possibly striked out on both deals.

As I'd said, the temp I'd gone to on Friday had offered me a job possibility in McKean. She was going to call me to let me know if I was able to go in for an interview, which was contingent on the employer letting me put at least a week's notice into Burlington. When I called this morning, she told me that this company was a new client, and they were unable to provide the necessary paperwork to the temp. In other words, they dropped the client, so this job is no longer a possibility for me. Unfortunately, this was the only job this temp agency had in mind for me at the moment.

I called the other temp to see if there was any update on the other job, which I had interviewed for last Wednesday. She said they were still interviewing a few more candidates, so they hadn't come to a decision yet. I suppose I'll have to wait this one out a little longer, but I'm trying to hold back the doubt flying around in my head.

I know I've just started out with these temp agencies, but I already feel like I'm going to be one of those applicants that never gets anywhere. I have doubts in my skills and abilities where I should have confidence. I just can't push myself enough into the positive realm to assure myself that I'll get a new job...eventually. Waiting is the hardest thing for me to do; especially when I want out right away.

At the same time--and I've expressed this before--I'll miss some of the people I've worked with at Burlington. We had a little picnic at Presque Isle last night with people from our department and the youth department. I invited ron and Tam, but only ron was able to make it. [Sorry for making you the oddball out.] It really made me realize that I work with such wonderful people. As much as we may complain about each other doing stupid or idiotic things that annoy us on occasion [I'm sure I get my fair share of complaints.], when it comes down to it, we all really care about each other a great deal and would be there at the drop of a hat to help one another out.

I'm probably closer to one person in particular more than anyone else there because she's really done a lot for me: Olga has pulled me out of scheduling crises when something unexpected comes up by switching schedules with me; she's been someone to confide in when I'm really down or something has been bothering me; I could trust her with everything--including my life (and vice versa); and she's taken me under her wing--despite a sometimes busy schedule--to help me learn Russian, which has gone by the wayside every so often just from being busy with other things in my life (no fault of her own; she still keeps me on my toes). I've worked with a few different people in my short career that have helped me to get where I'm at today, but I've unfortunately lost touch with most all of them. I'm hoping that will stop here, and Olga is someone I don't want to lose that connection with. I don't want to lose anymore good friends. They're few and far between for me these days anyway.

As much as I want to leave retail and Burlington altogether in the dust, I wish I could take some of the people with me. Since I may be leaving soon, I felt like I should write some sort of tribute to the people who have made everyday more bearable. I don't know what I'd do without them. I may have started off on the wrong foot with one or two, but they're what keep me from pulling every strand of hair out of my head, and I wouldn't trade that crew for any other.