Getting Closer to Freedom

Last night I received a message from one of my temp agencies saying they had a full-time position in mind for me. The only problem was that it was from Thursday, and my phone just received it last night. I was afraid the job would be gone, so I made sure I called them first thing this morning. I talked to one of the girls there, and she said the opportunity was still available although they'd interviewed people for it already. Also, she told me they have two more full-time day jobs they wanted to pitch to me. Wow. I was so excited.

Two of the three are at a certain car dealership. One entails greeting people at the door and answering phones (up to eight lines). The girl at the temp agency informed me that they have eight lines at their office, and even though their receptionist loves her job, there are days she wants to "rip her hair out because it's so busy." Yes, that's a direct quote from her. That quickly made up my mind.
The other job is as a cashier, which wouldn't be hard. Both of these pay less than I get at my current job, so it doesn't give me too much reason to pursue them. Plus, I may end up working Saturdays, I'm assuming.

The third job is for a non-profit organization (much like the last job they sent me to), and I would just be doing data entry. Absolutely no phones and no customers. Heaven. It pays about a buck more an hour than I'm getting now, and it's Monday thru Friday, 8:30-5. Perfect.
Now I'm getting up at the butt-crack of dawn to do typing, data entry, and Excel 2003 tests at the agency before I go to work at 9:00 so they can send my scores to this client. I'm not really thrilled about getting up at 5:30 tomorrow morning, but if it can get me out of where I'm at, then I'm all for it.

I just hope this works out better than the last place they sent me. Please, God...

Update (8/30, 8:25am): I took my tests this morning, and I did really well. I was nervous I would do horrible on Excel since I haven't used spreadsheets since high school, but I got 28/32 right. Not too shabby, I guess.
Even better is the fact that the place they want me to interview at employs three people I know, and they're all really great (one is even a supervisor). I hope I get this!

Amen!

All the kids are back in school (excepting for Iroquois)! Did I ever share with you my utter disgust with the month of August and all the back-to-school insanity? Yeah, it sucks...
I'm just glad it's over with...for now. I can rest happily for a brief moment before the Christmas rush comes.

Fixing What Isn't Yours

I'm one of those people that wishes they could fix things; even though they're not mine to fix. Most of the time I don't try to actually take it into my own hands, but I sit and worry about it for hours/days/weeks/months. I turn it into my problem, and it just sits inside me and boils up, and I end up feeling exactly the way I do now. It may have taken me the whole evening last night to figure out why I was feeling sad, but at least I got there (thanks to my husband).

I tend to get this empty feeling inside when I feel like something has changed--even temporarily (though unbeknownst to me at the time)--for the worse in my life or between me and another person(s). It's hard to shake it until I feel like things are right again, and sometimes I can't ever fix it myself, and I have to rely on that other person to do so. I get this same feeling when I watch someone else I care about having problems or they've somehow dramatically changed. I wish I could figure it out, and it bugs me until I either do figure it out or it just fades away.

I'm not sure I can talk to the people I want to about this because I feel like it will cause problems. My husband suggested I just wait and see what happens. That's the hardest thing for me to do, but I'm afraid that if I even talk to these people about it, it will just cause riffs. I just hate feeling like I can't do anything to help.

I'm the kind of person that likes to figure out other people like a puzzle. Maybe it sounds a little cliché or maybe it makes me seem shallow, but that's always how I've been. Every person has layers to them and the amount they reveal is dependent on the person they're with and/or the situation they're in. I don't want to see every layer of every person I meet or am friends with (that's just impossible), but I wish I could see everyone's true intentions behind decisions they make or their actions. Maybe the problems they have would make more sense to me. Maybe it'd just make it more difficult to understand. I'm not sure.

Either way, I hope this gets fixed soon because I know something is wrong.

Have You...?

Ever felt really down, and you weren't quite sure why? I'm experiencing one of the moments right now. I'm just sort of feeling lonely and sad for some odd reason. I almost drove across town just to visit with another person. Unfortunately, the situation wasn't conducive to doing so. Now, here I sit with my best friend, Music, to attempt to cheer myself up.

Backwards Day

Yesterday didn't turn out at all like I had envisioned it would. I went in on a mission to get my four hours of register training done and over with in one stretch. I was only shot down right away:
"You don't get a drawer at first," our customer service manager said. "You need to be trained first, and then when you come down the second day, you'll get a drawer, and you'll ring for at least four hours."
Well, what the hell sense does that make? I already know how to run a dang cash register. God knows I did it enough when I worked at Dollar General. I was basically standing there watching one of our cashiers ring people out, knowing exactly what to do after about 5 minutes. Ok, can I have a drawer to work on this firsthand?

The funny thing about all this is that my coworker went for training last week, and they gave him a drawer right away. He's never had any cash register experience. So why do I have to be formally trained first and then given a drawer? This system makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

I was only down there for about a half hour before my department manager paged me to come upstairs and help her put stock away. We had a crap-load of it too. We had tons of pieces of clothing that needed to be put away and little room to do so.
I had only been working on this for about two hours before one of my coworkers came running over to the desk. She called out to my manager, and I happened to look up, and I saw blood just pouring off her face from underneath her left eye. I ran to the break room to get some ice while my department manager called for a first aid kit.

Apparently, what happened was that she was moving one of the metal arms that holds clothing on it, and it fell. It first hit her on the forehead, and then it hit her underneath her left eye and sliced her. It got really puffy by her eye and very fast. She was debating whether or not she needed to go somewhere. One of our managers suggested she take a break for an hour or so to decide. I offered to take her home if she needed. After filling out some paper work, she sat in the break room.

After about a half an hour, she came out, and my department manager was standing near her. She told me to take my coworker to the emergency room because she was starting to feel lightheaded. I ran to the break room, grabbed my keys and my sopping wet sweatshirt, and we went out to the car.
I ended up taking her to Hamot to get checked out. It was about 3:00 when we got there, and we didn't leave there until about 6:15. Luckily, she didn't break anything in her face, which is what the doctor was afraid of. They did a CAT scan, which revealed she has "a face made of rock." Unfortunately, she has a big goose egg on her forehead and a really black left eye. At least that's all she has to worry about though. The doctor told her to take a day off from work and just relax, so that's what she's doing today.
After we left, we stopped at Taco Bell, and I bought us something to eat because neither of us had eaten anything all day. I was getting my lunch break in somehow. Afterwards, I dropped her off at her house, and I stopped back at work to fill out a time edit and update everyone on her condition.

I think I may call her up to see how she's doing, but I'm glad everything was alright. I was worried she really injured herself.

Irony

Also, isn't it just fitting that it's storming out in Erie today--my doom day? What's new..?

They Finally Got To Me

So I got put on the hit list for the registers, finally. I suppose it was only a matter of time before that happened. If they only had a clue how much I loathe ringing...I suppose it wouldn't make a difference.
Instead of just putting up with it--minus the whining--I'm blogging to complain about it. I guess I'm just not understanding this whole logic behind us being required to run a register. The cashiers aren't required to come up to our department and help out, and we have a huge shortage upstairs. I want to see them come up and help us sell furniture on a Saturday for four hours, and I'll raise them four hours of my time on that register.

We're the only department in that whole store that can't be left empty. It's like leaving John V. Shultz's entire sales floor empty while everyone runs a register. Who the heck is going to sell the furniture or help the customers? So having said that, what's the point of us being register-trained if it's just liable to leave our department empty or even more shorthanded if we're pulled? Pointless.

One other thing is that we were originally supposed to be 90% compliant, and it's now dropped down to 80%. That would be fine with me if they had the right employees exempt from running a register. Is Baby Depot exempt? I wish. Let's find the stupidest reasons to cut people out instead of the most logical reasons. We have ones that will quit if they're even signed up to train on the register (oh, how I wish I could say that to get out of this), our receiving department which alone includes about 6 people (more than any other area of the store), stupidity and/or mental cases, and loss prevention. The only ones I can understand are the mentally incapable and security. Everything else is just an excuse.

Since there's absolutely nothing I can do about this, I guess I'll have to just do my time down there for four hours today. After that, they better not call me down as backup. I'll do their required training, but you'd better find someone else from a different department to be your backup.

Stupidity Leaks

Working with the public makes you realize just how many idiots there are out there. It's amazing how many people won't use their heads for more than hat racks, but I suppose that's just what you have to deal with in this line of work. I was inspired by a certain customer last night to write this blog. This is an ode to you, Mr. Stupidity Leak #1:

• SL #1: The Bathrooms

Before asking an associate how to open the bathroom door at Burlington, make sure you've actually tried it. No, I mean, if you can't figure it out while you're there, you need only to read the sign that says either "Push" or "Pull" on your respective room. If you have to ask me after you've done this, go back to elementary school and learn to read, and ask for a bonus lesson in common sense.

Example: Last night I was on the phone with one of my associates trying to give him information for a piece of clothing someone was buying that didn't have a tag, and a rather large, dopey-looking gentleman interrupted me.
"Excuse me," he said.
You guys know how much I loathe being interrupted on the phone when I'm doing my job. I told my coworker to hang on a minute while I helped this guy. "What do you need help with?"
"I can't open the bathroom door," he said.
"Did you try pushing it?"
He just stared at me with a blank look and said nothing.
Ok, I guess I need to say something here. "Just push the door open."
He still stood there, staring at me, and he didn't budge.
Hello, in there? Anybody home? "Just go over and push the door."
Nothing.
Am I making absolutely no sense here? "Just push the door open." How many times do I need to repeat myself before you get it?
Finally, he said something: "It doesn't open."
"The door doesn't lock," I replied. "Don't touch the handle. Just push the door."
And yes, he's still standing there, staring at me.
I attempted to get back on the phone with my coworker, but the guy was still standing there. I finished my piece about a hundred times already. You can go now. "Just go push the door."
He finally left, and I didn't see him come back, so I'm assuming that my idea worked. Go figure. I suppose I do know what I'm talking about sometimes.

• SL #2: Amateur Theft

If you're going to steal something, it's a good idea that you don't inform an associate before doing so. Hey, if you do, that's great for us because you're just making it easier to get caught, but I'm guessing you want to be successful at the five-finger discount, so being busted isn't part of your game plan; I would assume, that is...

Example:We have a new girl in the shoe department, and yesterday was her second day. A woman walked up to her, and they had the following conversation¹:
"You got any floor walkers tonight," the customer asked. In other words, she's asking if we have any security.
"I don't know," my coworker replied.
"Well, can you find out for me? If you hook me up, I'll hook you up."
Needless to say, she told another associate or manager about this, so they were all over her like flies on crap.

• SL #3: Watch Your Kids

We don't run a free daycare at Burlington. If you're opting to shop with your kids, you need to watch them. We certainly don't get paid enough to do our jobs and babysit your children. Not to mention, we have quite a few dangerous spots in and around our department. A hot spot for kids to play at is the escalator. I'm certainly not cleaning up your kids' blood if they fall and crack their heads open. Pay attention.

Example: I watched as a kid ran up and down our escalators (of course, running up the down), and I yelled at him numerous times. He was probably about twelve, so he was certainly old enough to know better. His mother was nearby while I was yelling, and she'd occasionally look over when I hollered, but she'd never say a word and continued shopping. Typical.
Finally, he did his last pass up the down escalator, and I yelled at him. As soon as he made it to the top step, he tripped and fell. He landed face first at the top of the escalator. He was ok, of course, but it just goes to show that you should listen. I shouldn't have to yell at your kids anyway. That's not my job.

Just bear these things in mind when you go shopping. I'm sick of picking up the missing pieces of your brain.

¹Mind you, this was all hearsay, so I don't know the exact conversation they had, but it's something similar to this.

Electric "Temp" Boogaloo

One of my temp agencies called to let me know that the company I did work for last month for a day wants me to work tomorrow from 8-5. Not only do I have to work tomorrow anyway, I don't have the heart to tell them that I don't want to do work for that company ever again; not after the events of last week. I was afraid they may have written me off because I quit from a client company. Sounds like I'm still in the game, which is good news.

I still think I need to let them cool off a little more before I throw anymore surprise, this-job-is-crap complaints. It's only a matter of time before they're not going to want to look for any jobs for me. For now, I'll try to get in good with my other temp agency in case something happens with this one.

I'm Lucky

I've really come to realize over each passing day that I have one of the last few good men left in this world. At the same time, my husband's got one of the last few faithful women left. I can just sit back and think about that while I watch the rest of the world struggle with infidelity, abuse, alcoholism, etc. It's become commonplace these days. It hurts to watch it, but I'm glad I'm not in it.

For those of you in my position, isn't it nice to not worry?

Cheating?

My husband and I found we have slightly differing opinions on what is considered cheating, which was brought to the table courtesy of a certain episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine that we watched last night. The episode found Kira living with O'Brien and his wife while Kira carries the couple's child. They end up discovering they have feelings for each other and even consider acting on those. They never do, but it brought up a good discussion anyway. Is that considered cheating if he has feelings for another woman but never acts on them?
I still consider it cheating if they have those thoughts and feelings to the point of being within inches of acting upon it. I think it's possibly inevitable for some people to feel that way at some point during their relationship/marriage. While I think acting on it is far worse than just having the feelings, I still think the extent of the feelings dictates whether or not it's cheating. ¹My husband feels the opposite though expresses he'd never get to that point himself and doesn't feel it's right to feel for another person even though he doesn't consider it cheating.

Ironically enough, there was an article on AOL this evening asking if it's considered cheating if a spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend has an online "marriage". They used one person as an example: He's a married man whose marriage is on the rocks because he spends at least 14 hours a day with his online "wife" through the game, Second Life. She's currently attending "gaming widow" support groups as a result [Isn't the fact that we have such a group in existence a sad thought?]. So is this cheating, as well?

You guys can probably guess what my answer is to this. My husband is on-board with me on this particular issue. I personally wouldn't have allowed it to get to the point where he would do something like that. Even if they claim that it's safe because it's only online, I don't see it that way. Being online doesn't automatically put you in a fantasy world. You're still spending your real-life time and emotions on another person who is not your husband/wife/etc., and believe it or not, the person on the other end is a real, living, breathing human being, as well. Who's to say that you won't end up meeting in person? Rarely do online relationships stay just that; especially if they span over a long period of time. And you can't tell me that if you met this "husband" or "wife" in person that you would "only be friends." You'd better just shoot yourself in the foot now.

Instead of spending all this time on the computer with someone hundreds to thousands of miles away, spend it with that person who is ten feet away. I'm assuming you either started dating them or married them for a reason, and if you're at least a halfway decent person, then it was for a good reason. Why not go out with them? Go to a movie or dinner or something. Anything. The thrill of an online relationship is no different than the thrill of someone going to a bar and hooking up with another person. It's the same idea. It's all sexually and emotionally based. It's cheating, and if you don't think it is, see how much it hurts the person you do it to.

¹I realize my husband probably thinks I'm making him look bad here, but I don't mean to. He's a faithful, respectable guy, which is why I married him.

What A Stressful Day

So you all know by now that I spent the day yesterday training for a new job. I was really excited about it because it seemed as if I finally had an opportunity to get out of where I'm at now. I've been waiting for this for quite a while.
The hours were perfect, the pay was better than I'm getting now, and I got weekends off, which is something I've been pining for. The office was really nice, the people were extremely friendly, and the environment was all-around pleasant.

So why didn't I take this job? The answer is simple: The job itself was crappy. What I wasn't aware of when I agreed to do it is that it would involve something I specifically said I didn't want to do. That is telemarketing. Maybe they don't consider it telemarketing because you're not selling anything--per se-- and it's for an organization, but you're calling 100 people a day and bugging them to sign up for a fund raiser. Regardless, you're calling people that don't want to be bothered. They either take it politely, yell at you, or just hang up. To me this is worse than straight customer service. At least more of these people want your attention. When you're on the phone, they don't want to hear from you unless you're telling them they just won a million dollars courtesy of Publisher's Clearing House.
On top of that, you had get at least 3 people to sign up each day. If you couldn't do that, you're booted. I hate quota jobs. That's too much stress.

I'm willing to take half of the blame for this because I didn't ask what the job entailed before accepting it. However, it's really their job to describe my duties during the pitch of the job. At the same time, they should have been looking at my notes and saw that I had a strong dislike of telemarketing. I established that at my interview at the temp agency. It shouldn't be my job to remind them. Of course, mistakes happen, so I'm willing to overlook that; however, the attitude could have been dispensed of when I called them last night.

After milling over whether to go into work the next day or just pull out of the position altogether, I decided against the former. I called the temp agency last night to say I wanted to cancel out on the job. I explained to the girl why that was, so she told me she'd have someone call me that night. Sure enough, the person I usually deal with at the agency called me from her cell phone, and by the tone of her voice, I could tell she wasn't too pleased.

"What's the problem, Rachel?"
I began explaining the issue with the job and why I wouldn't be taking it. I also explained how it made me feel uncomfortable to do that type of work. I decided not to mention the fact that I had already established to them that I would absolutely never do telemarketing but was offered this job anyway.
"Well, didn't (Anonymous) explain the job to you?"
"No, not really. It's partly my fault because I didn't ask either, but most of the time we spent hashing out how to make this work. It was either take the job now or don't take it at all, and I would have missed out on the opportunity. So I took it anyway."
"Can you at least finish out the week," she asked.
At this point, my manager had already changed my schedule back, and I had my mind made up that I wouldn't be showing up again because I feel too uncomfortable with that position.
"I'm sorry. I can't do that. My manager already switched my schedule back, and it was such an inconvenience when it was switched the first time around. I can't do it."
"Well, I ask because obviously we need to keep that position filled, so now we need to find someone to replace you."
I could tell she was upset with me at this point. I can't be the first client to pull out of a job though. At least I gave them 12-hours' notice when I was only required one hour.

I'm hoping I didn't burn any bridges with this temp agency, but a little more notice (at least a week would have been nice) and a better look at my file could have stopped all this from happening to begin with. I just can't see myself doing something I'm uncomfortable with just so I can have a job. I'll just keep the one I have until I get something that suits me.
That other temp agency I applied at is looking a little less icy than this one for the moment...

I'm Taking My Last Post Back

It was an extremely disappointing and tiring day yesterday. I feel like the biggest jerk in the city, and the job wasn't anything like what I was expecting/looking for, and I know my temp agency knew that from the beginning. I'll explain more after work.

Things Are Looking Up

I called one of my temp agencies this afternoon to check in, and they gave me a job offer immediately, and I begin training tomorrow from 9-4. I hope it works out because I really ticked off my department manager by having to get my schedule changed around for the entire week at the drop of a hat. I hope this will be the job to end my searching.

It starts out as a 4/5-week long project, and if they like me, they'll hire me permanently. I hope to God that will happen because I desperately want to get out of where I'm at now. For now, I'll be working part-time at Burlington while I work here. Twelve-hour days, here I come...ick.

Oh, yeah, and did you guys die on me again? Tam isn't here to pick up the commenting slack this week, so humor me please.

Wedded Bliss and Something Like It

Going to weddings didn't usually do anything for me. My family and I went to numerous, and I never felt any emotional connection. I never cried, I never showed a whole lot of excitement, and they always seemed like they dragged on and on. Maybe it was just because I was a kid, and those types of events are "inferior" to hanging out with your friends (ok, that's not like me) or staying home and listening to music (more like me).

These days it's a little different. I got married, and now most all my friends have gotten married. Going to their weddings gave me a whole different feeling because I'd already been through it. Also, they're my friends as opposed to an obligatory wedding for a family member you see once every ten years or so. It makes me want to relive mine.

I think I spent most of the weekend saying, "Oh, I wish we would have done that," or "Darn it, I was going to do that for our wedding." My husband was less than pleased because I think I made him feel horrible. As much as I wish I'd done so many things with our wedding, I'm happy it went the way it did. It was the perfect day, and in all honesty, I really wouldn't have changed a thing about it. It was a small wedding with our closest friends and family members there. Most of our friends were in the wedding party (five bridesmaids, five groomsmen), which doesn't always get to happen with people.
A lot of funny things happened that we'll remember for years, such as when I went in to kiss Jon at the altar when we were pronounced husband and wife, and our pastor had a few more things to say before that. Everyone watched as I leaned in only to be denied courtesy of his verboseness.
Also, we had a celebrity sighting at our reception, which was very cool. How many people have those? Colin Mochrie happened to be in town that day doing a show at the Warner Theatre (I believe), and he was staying at the Marriott. One of our guests spotted him out in lobby, and word got around fast. I started wondering why all our guests were leaving in a hurry. My sister came over to our table and told us Colin Mochrie was out in the lobby, so Jon and I jumped up to go meet him. We got to shake hands with him, and he congratulated us. We also got a few snapshots with him.

My husband and I have now been married nearly a year and a half, and we feel like veterans for some reason. A year and a half isn't really all that long, but we feel like we set the path for our friends as we were the first in our "group" to get married. Now we've got our own little Ball and Chain Club, and it feels good to have initiated it. Welcome to the club, Tam and Matt. Pull up a chair and get comfortable 'cause you're gonna be here for a while.

Pictures Are Up

Instead of doing an edit on my already present post from this morning, I decided to make a new one. I've added a set to my Flickr account for Tammy and Matt's wedding, so feel free to take a look at those and comment. It was a beautiful wedding, she and Matt both looked beautiful/handsome (respectively), and I had a great time. I wish the two of them the best of luck in their marriage!

Congrats, Tammy and Matt!

My friend and fellow blogger, Tam, and her fianceé, Matt, are getting married this afternoon, so I thought I'd write a quick blog to congratulate the two of them.

I've had the pleasure of getting to know Tam a little better the past year thanks to the Erie blogger meetups, and we've been able to extend our relationship beyond commenting on each other's blogs every now and then. It's been really great getting to know her better and finding out what a wonderful person she is. In turn, I've been able to meet Matt and see what a great guy he is. They're both amazing people and are perfect for each other. I couldn't think of a better pair.

If you can, drop by her site to congratulate her and wish her the best. She deserves it. Later on tonight, I plan on uploading the pictures to my Flickr account, so check back late in the evening for those. I'm sure ron will have some up on his account sometime soon since he's the photographer, so keep checking his, as well. I'll write a little edit when I've uploaded these.

Congratulations again to Mr. and Mrs. Matt Chase!

Take It From Me

Don't stay up until 3:00 in the morning if you already feel as if you've been beaten with a stick to a bloody pulp, forced to take Valium, and hung upside down from a tree branch for several hours. Now I'm paying for it with a massive headache, a loopy feeling, and a lack of energy. I may as well have a hangover too.
Moreover, I need a cat nap...soon.

Rifftrax to Russian

I apologize in advance for jumping from kick to kick lately. First it was Rifftrax, and now I'm on an everything-Russian kind of kick. I've been wanting to head out to the store to buy some Dostoevsky novels, some Vitas or Alsou CDs, and take a bunch of Russian courses all at one time.

Obviously, I can't do all that, so I manage with what I have. Although, I have to admit it's a little frustrating because I'm stuck using the resources I have in order to learn the language because I can't afford to take classes at some places, and they don't offer them elsewhere. Not that Rosetta Stone has been at all bad to me [I didn't realize how much of a working knowledge I really had until I started this program], but I wish I could learn with other people. Honestly, I don't think there are a lot of Russian language students in the Erie area. If there are, I'd like to meet some.

Anyone have any suggestions of self-help minus the sole responsibility of learning on my own? I need someone or something to kick me in the butt and to help me learn a little better. It's getting tough, but I have the drive. Somehow I don't think it's enough.

Double Standard

I think maybe an anonymous forum would be more appropriate for this blog, but I'm going to go ahead anyway and write it here because I feel it needs to be said. This is something that goes on way too much in Corporate America, and it's no wonder people get so fed up and quit their jobs.

There's an issue of double standards, and my workplace is no stranger to that. In fact, it happens on a daily basis; even several times a day. Some people are "allowed" to do certain things where others are not. In my case, there's a clique, and if you're not in that clique, you don't get the privilege of "breaking corporate rules," so to speak. Me? Well, let's just say I'm nowhere near being in that clique, nor would I desire to be. I'm quite content befriending people who don't back-stab and are accepting and courteous of others.

I had a situation tonight where I happened to sit down at our desk for a minute to relax while one of my coworkers was sitting at the computer. It was nearing the end of my shift, and there wasn't much to do. I'm not trying to justify my slacking off, but it was only for a minute, and that was all it took to get yelled at. My store manager came up and noticed this, and she was fired up:
"I am going to blow a gasket if I see you guys sitting at this desk again! I don't want to ever see another Baby Depot person on this side of the desk ever again!"

She continued to spout off comments, but I just walked away from her. Keep in mind that this was completely directed at me, but at the same time, it wouldn't have made a difference if I were sitting on the opposite side of the desk. This woman just plain-out doesn't like me at all. She gets pleasure out of making stories up about me and telling lies to my department manager to get me in trouble [She's guilty of this with other people]. Lucky for me, my manager believes my word over hers most of the time, which makes it much easier for the truth to be revealed, as she enjoys blowing every situation out of proportion to make the story sound more incriminating.

I completely take fault for sitting at the desk while on the clock. That was probably wrong, but heck, we've all done it. We're not machines, for crying out loud. Even management and the associates in the clique do it. What's funny is that they sit in that office for hours, eating their McDonald's and chatting the day away while they're on the clock, but if we sit down for one minute at the desk, we're threatened and scolded like two-year-olds. Figure this one out.

Another great example is this: We're not allowed to shop on breaks or while we're on the clock. Ok, that's fair enough. I'm hardly at risk of breaking that rule since I don't even shop where I work, so I think I can criticize on this one. On Saturday, I was changing our garbage while talking to one of my coworkers. He was sitting at the computer, and I saw our store manager walking over, so I warned him, but he didn't seem to care and still kept sitting. She came up to him and said, "Walk the floor and wait on some customers." No sooner had that come out of her mouth than she went over to the youth department and began shopping for her daughter...on the clock. It seems to me that you're not doing a whole lot of customer service while picking out clothing for your kid.

My point is to lead by example. If you want your associates to obey the rules of the company, you do the same. I know this will never ever happen in any company. As long as there are businesses in this world, there will always be double standards, but while a lot of people just put up with it, I refuse. I've seen management break rules everywhere I've been (it's almost obligatory anymore), but when you let some associates (people who are supposedly on the same level as me) break these rules with you--just because they're in your little teenage-like group--but not let others, then you're bound to have a revolt. On top of that, they gossip about us just like a bunch of adolescents who never grew out of their high school phase. Unfortunately, that's a whole other issue that would take up an entire blog by itself.

Whenever I happen to leave this place, I'm writing a letter to our store manager and sending a copy to corporate because there's no need for this to go on. Children could run the store more smoothly than this. Now, whether my letter would make any difference or not is beyond me (most likely, it will do nothing), but it's better than not taking any stand whatsoever. I'm willing to speak for all those in this company and any other company that feel like the "pee-ons" (that was deliberate, yes) because they either choose not to participate in the hierarchy of the corporation or they just don't fit into it by nature.
We're all people. Our only differences are our backgrounds and personalities. Can't we just leave it at that and abandon the childish gossip and authoritative ego trips? Yeah, you're a manager. So what? When I was assistant manager at my last job, I knew enough not to treat my employees like garbage. I thanked them for their work everyday, and I tactfully and maturely reprimanded them when they slacked off. I didn't speak to them as if they were my children. That gets you nowhere, and it's unprofessional and immature. I may be "a kid" to you, but I'm certainly not stupid and/or naïve.
If everyone followed this code of conduct, it would be so much easier to get along with our fellow coworkers.

Burnt Out

Sorry for not writing anything the past few days. I've been beyond exhausted and stressed out lately. On top of that, I'm in the middle of a seven-day work stretch, which is no picnic. I'm looking forward to having two days off together (finally) on Wednesday and Thursday. It's been a while since I've had two together (not since we were on our trip last month), so I'm getting tired out. Burlington. Overload.

While my department manager was on vacation last week, I had to deal with a pain-in-the-butt customer (ok, he wasn't too, too bad, but he was a pest). I don't really want to get into the story because the whole situation and the people involved just ticked me off beyond belief. God-forbid they read this, I may have unexpected unemployment. Definitely not worth it. I will say that I tried everything in my power to help out this guy, and it went unappreciated by pretty much everyone. Just another day at my job...

My poor husband is suffering because I've been too tired to do much more than sit in a chair, nearly passing out or sleeping. I did go to the Y with him last night, which has become a rarity for me the past few months out of a combination of laziness and exhaustion. I got about five different exercises in, and they were all good (my chest is incredibly sore today), but I was ready to crash when I got home. I've been so loopy the past few days that I find it hard to even function correctly at work. Everyday has been a struggle. Even when I'm driving in my car, I feel myself drifting off into another world, which I've never done before. It's kind of scary to think about because I could get in a serious accident that way.

Between working a lot and trying to figure out this whole Russian language situation I'm in, I'm getting tired out/drilled into the ground (whatever you want to say). I really want to take these Russian classes, but I don't want to pay an arm and a leg to do so, but I fear I don't have a choice. It seems that everyone wants to charge me for credits I don't want. My last hope is Behrend. I pray that I'll have some luck with them. Otherwise, I'll have to stick to self-teaching with my course book, dictionary, verb book, Rosetta Stone, and the occasional help from Olga.

I think I really need a break. Olga had suggested us going to Niagara Falls in September for a couple days. I told her I probably wouldn't be able to swing it financially, but Jon was able to work it out, and he said I'd be able to go. I just need to let her know. I'm sort of looking forward to it, so I can just get away from Erie for a little bit. Yes, I know, I just got back from a big trip, but I'm already tired out from work life again.

I need to unwind some way...