Hidden Talents (Part Dva)

I got a lot of good feedback on my last post, which was inspiring. I don't usually talk much about my drawings or the fact that I do draw. It's been one of those hobbies that I keep to myself somewhat. I don't know if it's because I'm ashamed if I can't draw up to the expectations of others or if it's for some other reason. I listen far too much to the opinions of other people, and I let that affect how much I draw.

I used to have people ask me to draw pictures of certain people for them. I'd start them, and then I'd never finish the drawing. One of my dad's friends wanted me to draw a collage of pictures of his wife, and it would be a present for either their anniversary or her birthday. I can't recall which. I never finished it. I finished drawing her entire face on one picture, and I stopped. I just became embarassed of what I was drawing instead of being proud of it (mistakes and all) and continuing on until I finished it. I suppose I could have tweaked it along the way, but I didn't give myself a chance to.

If you can recall, I mentioned a Tom Cruise drawing in my last post, and I talked about how frustrated I got with it. My husband was probably terrified of me that night. I don't think I get upset with anything else in this world more than I do with my drawings. If they're not perfect, I'm no picnic to be around.
We went to Borders one night to look at magazines because I felt inspired to draw something. That month Tom Cruise was on the cover of Fade In because this was at the time he was promoting MI:3 and War of the Worlds. I decided to buy that one because they had a lot of good pictures in there, and the cover really caught my eye. I did end up drawing the cover. I got about halfway through my drawing when I realized that the proportion was all wrong on his face, and it was nearly irreparable. I had to stop working on it to keep from ripping my sketch pad to pieces. To this day, I haven't once touched that drawing again, and it's been about 2½ years since I first drew it.

It's moments like that where I'm brought back down to reality; just when I think I could make a career out of this. I couldn't see myself doing this day in and day out when I get so frustrated. I wouldn't last long, and I think (as I said before) I would grow to resent drawing altogether. I'd hate to do that with the one thing I know I'm at least semi-good at.
At the same time, I'm left confused as to what exactly I'm supposed to be doing as a career if art isn't it. What else could I see myself doing and enjoying for the rest of my life? It's certainly not retail...